This is something I think we all struggle with. It may be a phone or computer, or house cleaning or our job or the game…something….something is always trying to steal our focus and distract us from what is really important. Family and relationships. Put the phone down. Distractions keep us disconnected.

This painting was birthed out of an unsettling awareness of the unhealthy addiction and attention that goes to devices. My own children fighting against my device for attention or even more so my husbands attention. It is much easier to cast stones at my husband and notice his short comings than to acknowledge my own and see we have the same problem.

This large social problem has been nagging at me for a while. Every where I look in public I see a device/distractions instead of connections. Real connections are hard yet meaningful, distractions are easy yet empty. Distractions are junk food. They are enticing and sweet to the taste but provide no lasting nourishment.

Below is my poetic expression of my painting. I hope it is impactful in some way.

Disconnected

How many times will I say your name before your look up from your device.

You tell me to be kind and that to ignore someone isn’t nice.

But your actions ring loud in my ears this isn’t true,

I don’t learn by what you say, I learn by what you do.

Who are you without your phone. Everyday I wish I knew.

I wish you could learn to poses your possessions without them possessing you.

It is easy to disconnect and constantly look at others lives.

The challenge is in living your own, and exploring how to thrive.

Lets change the trend and start making those connections again with family and friends. Need some ideas on how to do that? Here are a few good suggestions.

Check out the A Reel Truth Gallery!

Disconnected was painted on a black 24×36 canvas with gouache.

Lets face it, we are all human and all fall sort in the parenting game. Sometimes the list of “shoulds” seems daunting and impossible to live up to, because it is.

Parenting is not about perfection it is about relationship and teaching, two things that are messy and come with lots of mistakes.

The purpose of these is not to heap guilt on you or add to an already overwhelming parenting check list, it is shed light in a few areas you might not have thought about.

We often times get so caught up in the daily struggles that we forget about continuing our goal of improvement and modeling progress instead of perfection for our kiddos. These red flags were taken from Dr. Dobson’s book Hide and Seek and when avoided can help your child’s self-esteem take flight instead of plummet.

I am sure there are more Self-Esteem Killers To Protect Your Child From, but here are a few that we can tackle.

1. Parental Insensitivity

Children understand and pick up so much more than what we give them credit for. A huge lesson for parents to learn is to filter what they say when their children are around. Children grow and bloom when they hear positive things about them but shrink and wilt when overhearing negative. “Sensitivity is the key word. It means “tuning in” to the thoughts and feelings of our kids, listening to the cues they give us and reacting appropriately to what we detect there.”

2. Fatigue and Time Pressure

Children do not fit into our list of things to we are trying to accomplish for the day very well. In fact some times they are even able to obliterate our list. It takes time and patience to be an effective parent when children are small and many times are lives our so “busy” we create stress and time pressures. So often “crowed lives produce fatigue-and fatigue produces irritability and irritability produces indifference and indifference can be interpreted by the child as a lack of genuine affection and personal esteem.” Prioritize your time now. Minimize those “time spenders” like social media, tv, movies, or anything that puts you and your family on auto pilot. Pick carefully the commitments you agree to and allow your children to agree to. Quality time spent together is huge in your child developing a healthy self-esteem.

3. Guilt

Guilt takes the joy out of parenting, makes parents become too permissive, and child can sense something is not right and might conclude it is their fault. “The best way to handle guilt is to face it squarely, using it as a source of motivation for change, where warranted.” None of us are perfect parents or will ever be but as long as we keep doing the best we can and moving in the right direction our children will reap the rewards.

4. Rivals for Love

Having multiple children is such a blessing but also a challenge. Each child needs to feel special and loved. A healthy way to address this issue is to acknowledge the child’s feelings and help them verbalize them. Let them have special privileges that only big kids can have like a park outing or a fun ride. Be consistent and fair.

You are doing a great job at this parenting game! Keep moving forward and enjoy the time you have with your kids.